Great Women In Islam-Fatimah, Daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)

Fatimah bint Muhammad
Fatimah was the fifth child of Muhammad and Khadijah. She was born at a time when her noble father had begun to spend long periods in the solitude of mountains around Makkah, meditating and reflecting on the great mysteries of creation.

This was the time, before the Bithah, when her eldest sister Zaynab was married to her cousin, al-Aas ibn ar Rabiah. Then followed the marriage of her two other sisters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum, to the sons of Abu Lahab, a paternal uncle of the Prophet. Both Abu Lahab and his wife Umm Jamil turned out to be flaming enemies of the Prophet from the very beginning of his public mission.

The little Fatimah thus saw her sisters leave home one after the other to live with their husbands. She was too young to understand the meaning of marriage and the reasons why her sisters had to leave home. She loved them dearly and was sad and lonely when they left. It is said that a certain silence and painful sadness came over her then.

Of course, even after the marriage of her sisters, she was not alone in the house of her parents. Barakah, the maid-servant of Aminah, the Prophet’s mother, who had been with the Prophet since his birth, Zayd ibn Harithah, and Ali, the young son of Abu Talib were all part of Muhammad’s household at this time. And of course there was her loving mother, the lady Khadijah.

In her mother and in Barakah, Fatimah found a great deal of solace and comfort in Ali, who was about two years older than she, she found a “brother” and a friend who somehow took the place of her own brother al-Qasim who had died in his infancy. Her other brother Abdullah, known as the Good and the Pure, who was born after her, also died in his infancy. However in none of the people in her father’s household did Fatimah find the carefree joy and happiness which she enjoyed with her sisters. She was an unusually sensitive child for her age.

When she was five, she heard that her father had become Rasul Allah, the Messenger of God. His first task was to convey the good news of Islam to his family and close relations. They were to worship God Almighty alone. Her mother, who was a tower of strength and support, explained to Fatimah what her father had to do. From this time on, she became more closely attached to him and felt a deep and abiding love for him. Often she would be at Iris side walking through the narrow streets and alleys of Makkah, visiting the Kabah or attending secret gatherings off, the early Muslims who had accepted Islam and pledged allegiance to the Prophet.

One day, when she was not yet ten, she accompanied her father to the Masjid al-Haram. He stood in the place known as al-Hijr facing the Kabah and began to pray. Fatimah stood at his side. A group of Quraysh, by no means well-disposed to the Prophet, gathered about him. They included Abu Jahl ibn Hisham, the Prophet’s uncle, Uqbah ibn Abi Muayt, Umayyah ibn Khalaf, and Shaybah and Utbah, sons of Rabi’ah. Menacingly, the group went up to the Prophet and Abu Jahl, the ringleader, asked:

“Which of you can bring the entrails of a slaughtered animal and throw it on Muhammad?”

Uqbah ibn Abi Muayt, one of the vilest of the lot, volunteered and hurried off. He returned with the obnoxious filth and threw it on the shoulders of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, while he was still prostrating. Abdullah ibn Masud, a companion of the Prophet, was present but he was powerless to do or say anything.

Imagine the feelings of Fatimah as she saw her father being treated in this fashion. What could she, a girl not ten years old, do? She went up to her father and removed the offensive matter and then stood firmly and angrily before the group of Quraysh thugs and lashed out against them. Not a single word did they say to her. The noble Prophet raised his head on completion of the prostration and went on to complete the Salat. He then said: “O Lord, may you punish the Quraysh!” and repeated this imprecation three times. Then he continued:

“May You punish Utbah, Uqbah, Abu Jahl and Shaybah.” (These whom he named were all killed many years later at the Battle of Badr)

On another occasion, Fatimah was with the Prophet as he made; tawaf around the Kabah. A Quraysh mob gathered around him. They seized him and tried to strangle him with his own clothes. Fatimah screamed and shouted for help. Abu Bakr rushed to the scene and managed to free the Prophet. While he was doing so, he pleaded: “Would you kill a man who says, ‘My Lord is God?’” Far from giving up, the mob turned on Abu Bakr and began beating him until blood flowed from his head and face.

Such scenes of vicious opposition and harassment against her father and the early Muslims were witnessed by the young Fatimah. She did not meekly stand aside but joined in the struggle in defence of her father and his noble mission. She was still a young girl and instead of the cheerful romping, the gaiety and liveliness which children of her age are and should normally be accustomed to, Fatimah had to witness and participate in such ordeals.

Of course, she was not alone in this. The whole of the Prophet’s family suffered from the violent and mindless Quraysh. Her sisters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum also suffered. They were living at this time in the very nest of hatred and intrigue against the Prophet. Their husbands were Utbah and Utaybah, sons of Abu Lahab and Umm Jamil. Umm Jamil was known to be a hard and harsh woman who had a sharp and evil tongue. It was mainly because of her that Khadijah was not pleased with the marriages of her daughters to Umm Jamil’s sons in the first place. It must have been painful for Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum to be living in the household of such inveterate enemies who not only joined but led the campaign against their father.

As a mark of disgrace to Muhammad and his family, Utbah and Utaybah were prevailed upon by their parents to divorce their wives. This was part of the process of ostracizing the Prophet totally. The Prophet in fact welcomed his daughters back to his home with joy, happiness and relief.

Fatimah, no doubt, must have been happy to be with her sisters once again. They all wished that their eldest sister, Zaynab, would also be divorced by her husband. In fact, the Quraysh brought pressure on Abu-l Aas to do so but he refused. When the Quraysh leaders came up to him and promised him the richest and most beautiful woman as a wife should he divorce Zaynab, he replied:

“I love my wife deeply and passionately and I have a great and high esteem for her father even though I have not entered the religion of Islam.”

Both Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum were happy to be back with their loving parents and to be rid of the unbearable mental torture to which they had been subjected in the house of Umm Jamil. Shortly afterwards, Ruqayyah married again, to the young and shy Uthman ibn Allan who was among the first to have accepted Islam. They both left for Abyssinia among the first muhajirin who sought refuge in that land and stayed there for several years. Fatimah was not to see Ruqayyah again until after their mother had died.

The persecution of the Prophet, his family and his followers continued and even became worse after the migration of the first Muslims to Abyssinia. In about the seventh year of his mission, the Prophet and his family were forced to leave their homes and seek refuge in a rugged little valley enclosed by hills on all sides and defile, which could only be entered from Makkah by a narrow path.

To this arid valley, Muhammad and the clans of Banu Hashim and al-Muttalib were forced to retire with limited supplies of food. Fatimah was one of the youngest members of the clans -just about twelve years old – and had to undergo months of hardship and suffering. The wailing of hungry children and women in the valley could be heard from Makkah. The Quraysh allowed no food and contact with the Muslims whose hardship was only relieved somewhat during the season of pilgrimage. The boycott lasted for three years. When it was lifted, the Prophet had to face even more trials and difficulties. Khadijah, the faithful and loving, died shortly afterwards. With her death, the Prophet and his family lost one of the greatest sources of comfort and strength which had sustained them through the difficult period. The year in which the noble Khadijah, and later Abu Talib, died is known as the Year of Sadness. Fatimah, now a young lady, was greatly distressed by her mother’s death. She wept bitterly and for some time was so grief-striken that her health deteriorated. It was even feared she might die of grief.

Although her older sister, Umm Kulthum, stayed in the same household, Fatimah realized that she now had a greater responsibility with the passing away of her mother. She felt that she had to give even greater support to her father. With loving tenderness, she devoted herself to looking after his needs. So concerned was she for his welfare that she came to be called “Umm Abi-ha the mother of her father”. She also provided him with solace and comfort during times of trial, difficulty and crisis.

Often the trials were too much for her. Once, about this time, an insolent mob heaped dust and earth upon his gracious head. As he entered his home, Fatimah wept profusely as she wiped the dust from her father’s head.

“Do not cry, my daughter,” he said, “for God shall protect your father.” The Prophet had a special love for Fatimah. He once said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me.”

He also said: “The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad.” Fatimah thus acquired a place of love and esteem in the Prophet’s heart that was only occupied by his wife Khadijah.

Fatimah, may God be pleased with her, was given the title of “az-Zahraa” which means “the Resplendent One”. That was because of her beaming face which seemed to radiate light. It is said that when she stood for Prayer, the mihrab would reflect the light of her countenance. She was also called “al-Batul” because of her asceticism. Instead of spending her time in the company of women, much of her time would be spent in Salat, in reading the Quran and in other acts of ibadah.

Fatimah had a strong resemblance to her father, the Messenger of God. Aishah, the wife of the Prophet, said of her: “I have not seen any one of God’s creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.” She would do the same when the Prophet came to her. She would stand up and welcome him with joy and kiss him.

Fatimah’s fine manners and gentle speech were part of her lovely and endearing personality. She was especially kind to poor and indigent folk and would often give all the food she had to those in need even if she herself remained hungry. She had no craving for the ornaments of this world nor the luxury and comforts of life. She lived simply, although on occasion as we shall see circumstances seemed to be too much and too difficult for her.

She inherited from her father a persuasive eloquence that was rooted in wisdom. When she spoke, people would often be moved to tears. She had the ability and the sincerity to stir the emotions, move people to tears and fill their hearts with praise and gratitude to God for His grace and His inestimable bounties.

Fatimah migrated to Madinah a few weeks after the Prophet did. She went with Zayd ibn Harithah who was sent by the Prophet back to Makkah to bring the rest of his family. The party included Fatimah and Umm Kulthum, Sawdah, the Prophet’s wife, Zayd’s wife Barakah and her son Usamah. Travelling with the group also were Abdullah the son of Abu Bakr who accompanied his mother and his sisters, Aishah and Asma.

In Madinah, Fatimah lived with her father in the simple dwelling he had built adjoining the mosque. In the second year after the Hijrah, she received proposals of marriage through her father, two of which were turned down. Then Ali, the son of Abu Talib, plucked up courage and went to the Prophet to ask for her hand in marriage. In the presence of the Prophet, however, Ali became over-awed and tongue-tied. He stared at the ground and could not say anything. The Prophet then asked: “Why have you come? Do you need something?” Ali still could not speak and then the Prophet suggested: “Perhaps you have come to propose marriage to Fatimah.”

“Yes,” replied Ali. At this, according to one report, the Prophet said simply: “Marhaban wa ahlan – Welcome into the family,” and this was taken by Ali and a group of Ansar who were waiting outside for him as indicating the Prophet’s approval. Another report indicated that the Prophet approved and went on to ask Ali if he had anything to give as mahr. Ali replied that he didn’t. The Prophet reminded him that he had a shield which could be sold.

Ali sold the shield to Uthman for four hundred dirhams and as he was hurrying back to the Prophet to hand over the sum as mahr, Uthman stopped him and said:

“I am returning your shield to you as a present from me on your marriage to Fatimah.” Fatimah and Ali were thus married most probably at the beginning of the second year after the Hijrah. She was about nineteen years old at the time and Ali was about twenty one. The Prophet himself performed the marriage ceremony. At the walimah, the guests were served with dates, figs and hais ( a mixture of dates and butter fat). A leading member of the Ansar donated a ram and others made offerings of grain. All Madinah rejoiced.

On her marriage, the Prophet is said to have presented Fatimah and Ali with a wooden bed intertwined with palm leaves, a velvet coverlet, a leather cushion filled with palm fibre, a sheepskin, a pot, a waterskin and a quern for grinding grain.

Fatimah left the home of her beloved father for the first time to begin life with her husband. The Prophet was clearly anxious on her account and sent Barakah with her should she be in need of any help. And no doubt Barakah was a source of comfort and solace to her. The Prophet prayed for them:

“O Lord, bless them both, bless their house and bless their offspring.” In Ali’s humble dwelling, there was only a sheepskin for a bed. In the morning after the wedding night, the Prophet went to Ali’s house and knocked on the door.

Barakah came out and the Prophet said to her: “O Umm Ayman, call my brother for me.”

“Your brother? That’s the one who married your daughter?” asked Barakah somewhat incredulously as if to say: Why should the Prophet call Ali his “brother”? (He referred to Ali as his brother because just as pairs of Muslims were joined in brotherhood after the Hijrah, so the Prophet and Ali were linked as “brothers”.)

The Prophet repeated what he had said in a louder voice. Ali came and the Prophet made a du’a, invoking the blessings of God on him. Then he asked for Fatimah. She came almost cringing with a mixture of awe and shyness and the Prophet said to her:

“I have married you to the dearest of my family to me.” In this way, he sought to reassure her. She was not starting life with a complete stranger but with one who had grown up in the same household, who was among the first to become a Muslim at a tender age, who was known for his courage, bravery and virtue, and whom the Prophet described as his “brother in this world and the hereafter”.

Fatimah’s life with Ali was as simple and frugal as it was in her father’s household. In fact, so far as material comforts were concerned, it was a life of hardship and deprivation. Throughout their life together, Ali remained poor because he did not set great store by material wealth. Fatimah was the only one of her sisters who was not married to a wealthy man.

In fact, it could be said that Fatimah’s life with Ali was even more rigorous than life in her father’s home. At least before marriage, there were always a number of ready helping hands in the Prophet’s household. But now she had to cope virtually on her own. To relieve their extreme poverty, Ali worked as a drawer and carrier of water and she as a grinder of corn. One day she said to Ali: “I have ground until my hands are blistered.”

“I have drawn water until I have pains in my chest,” said Ali and went on to suggest to Fatimah: “God has given your father some captives of war, so go and ask him to give you a servant.”

Reluctantly, she went to the Prophet who said: “What has brought you here, my little daughter?” “I came to give you greetings of peace,” she said, for in awe of him she could not bring herself to ask what she had intended.

“What did you do?” asked Ali when she returned alone.

“I was ashamed to ask him,” she said. So the two of them went together but the Prophet felt they were less in need than others.

“I will not give to you,” he said, “and let the Ahl as-Suffah (poor Muslims who stayed in the mosque) be tormented with hunger. I have not enough for their keep…”

Ali and Fatimah returned home feeling somewhat dejected but that night, after they had gone to bed, they heard the voice of the Prophet asking permission to enter. Welcoming him, they both rose to their feet, but he told them:

“Stay where you are,” and sat down beside them. “Shall I not tell you of something better than that which you asked of me?” he asked and when they said yes he said: “Words which Jibril taught me, that you should say “Subhaan Allah- Glory be to God” ten times after every Prayer, and ten times “AI hamdu lillah – Praise be to God,” and ten times “Allahu Akbar – God is Great.” And that when you go to bed you should say them thirty-three times each.”

Ali used to say in later years: “I have never once failed to say them since the Messenger of God taught them to us.”

There are many reports of the hard and difficult times which Fatimah had to face. Often there was no food in her house. Once the Prophet was hungry. He went to one after another of his wives’ apartments but there was no food. He then went to Fatimah’s house and she had no food either. When he eventually got some food, he sent two loaves and a piece of meat to Fatimah. At another time, he went to the house of Abu Ayyub al-Ansari and from the food he was given, he saved some for her. Fatimah also knew that the Prophet was without food for long periods and she in turn would take food to him when she could. Once she took a piece of barley bread and he, said to her: “This is the first food your father has eaten for three days.”

Through these acts of kindness she showed how much she loved her father; and he loved her, really loved her in return.

Once he returned from a journey outside Madinah. He went to the mosque first of all and prayed two rakats as was his custom. Then, as he often did, he went to Fatimah’s house before going to his wives. Fatimah welcomed him and kissed his face, his mouth and his eyes and cried. “Why do you cry?” the Prophet asked. “I see you, O Rasul Allah,” she said, “Your color is pale and sallow and your clothes have become worn and shabby.” “O Fatimah,” the Prophet replied tenderly, “don’t cry for Allah has sent your father with a mission which He would cause to affect every house on the face of the earth whether it be in towns, villages or tents (in the desert) bringing either glory or humiliation until this mission is fulfilled just as night (inevitably) comes.” With such comments Fatimah was often taken from the harsh realities of daily life to get a glimpse of the vast and far-reaching vistas opened up by the mission entrusted to her noble father.

Fatimah eventually returned to live in a house close to that of the Prophet. The place was donated by an Ansari who knew that the Prophet would rejoice in having his daughter as his neighbor. Together they shared in the joys and the triumphs, the sorrows and the hardships of the crowded and momentous Madinah days and years.

In the middle of the second year after the Hijrah, her sister Ruqayyah fell ill with fever and measles. This was shortly before the great campaign of Badr. Uthman, her husband, stayed by her bedside and missed the campaign. Ruqayyah died just before her father returned. On his return to Madinah, one of the first acts of the Prophet was to visit her grave.

Fatimah went with him. This was the first bereavement they had suffered within their closest family since the death of Khadijah. Fatimah was greatly distressed by the loss of her sister. The tears poured from her eyes as she sat beside her father at the edge of the grave, and he comforted her and sought to dry her tears with the corner of his cloak.

The Prophet had previously spoken against lamentations for the dead, but this had lead to a misunderstanding, and when they returned from the cemetery the voice of Umar was heard raised in anger against the women who were weeping for the martyrs of Badr and for Ruqayyah.

“Umar, let them weep,” he said and then added: “What comes from the heart and from the eye, that is from God and His mercy, but what comes from the hand and from the tongue, that is from Satan.” By the hand he meant the beating of breasts and the smiting of cheeks, and by the tongue he meant the loud clamor in which women often joined as a mark of public sympathy.

Uthman later married the other daughter of the Prophet, Umm Kulthum, and on this account came to be known as Dhu-n Nurayn – Possessor of the Two Lights.

The bereavement which the family suffered by the death of Ruqayyah was followed by happiness when to the great joy of all the believers Fatimah gave birth to a boy in Ramadan of the third year after the Hijrah. The Prophet spoke the words of the Adhan into the ear of the new-born babe and called him al-Hasan which means the Beautiful One.

One year later, she gave birth to another son who was called al-Husayn, which means “little Hasan” or the little beautiful one. Fatimah would often bring her two sons to see their grandfather who was exceedingly fond of them. Later he would take them to the Mosque and they would climb onto his back when he prostrated. He did the same with his little granddaughter Umamah, the daughter of Zaynab.

In the eighth year after the Hijrah, Fatimah gave birth to a third child, a girl whom she named after her eldest sister Zaynab who had died shortly before her birth. This Zaynab was to grow up and become famous as the “Heroine of Karbala”. Fatimah’s fourth child was born in the year after the Hijrah. The child was also a girl and Fatimah named her Umm Kulthum after her sister who had died the year before after an illness.

It was only through Fatimah that the progeny of the Prophet was perpetuated. All the Prophet’s male children had died in their infancy and the two children of Zaynab named Ali and Umamah died young. Ruqayyah’s child Abdullah also died when he was not yet two years old. This is an added reason for the reverence which is accorded to Fatimah.

Although Fatimah was so often busy with pregnancies and giving birth and rearing children, she took as much part as she could in the affairs of the growing Muslim community of Madinah. Before her marriage, she acted as a sort of hostess to the poor and destitute Ahl as-Suffah. As soon as the Battle of Uhud was over, she went with other women to the battlefield and wept over the dead martyrs and took time to dress her father’s wounds. At the Battle of the Ditch, she played a major supportive role together with other women in preparing food during the long and difficult siege. In her camp, she led the Muslim women in prayer and on that place there stands a mosque named Masjid Fatimah, one of seven mosques where the Muslims stood guard and performed their devotions.

Fatimah also accompanied the Prophet when he made Umrah in the sixth year after the Hijrah after the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah. In the following year, she and her sister Umm Kulthum, were among the mighty throng of Muslims who took part with the Prophet in the liberation of Makkah. It is said that on this occasion, both Fatimah and Umm Kulthum visited the home of their mother Khadijah and recalled memories of their childhood and memories of jihad, of long struggles in the early years of the Prophet’s mission.

In Ramadan of the tenth year just before he went on his Farewell Pilgrimage, the Prophet confided to Fatimah, as a secret not yet to be told to others:

“Jibril recited the Quran to me and I to him once every year, but this year he has recited it with me twice. I cannot but think that my time has come.”

On his return from the Farewell Pilgrimage, the Prophet did become seriously ill. His final days were spent in the apartment of his wife Aishah. When Fatimah came to visit him, Aishah would leave father and daughter together.

One day he summoned Fatimah. When she came, he kissed her and whispered some words in her ear. She wept. Then again he whispered in her ear and she smiled. Aishah saw and asked:

“You cry and you laugh at the same time, Fatimah? What did the Messenger of God say to you?” Fatimah replied:

“He first told me that he would meet his Lord after a short while and so I cried. Then he said to me: ‘Don’t cry for you will be the first of my household to join me.’ So I laughed.”

Not long afterwards the noble Prophet passed away. Fatimah was grief-striken and she would often be seen weeping profusely. One of the companions noted that he did not see Fatimah, may God be pleased with her, laugh after the death of her father.

One morning, early in the month of Ramadan, just less than five month after her noble father had passed away, Fatimah woke up looking unusually happy and full of mirth. In the afternoon of that day, it is said that she called Salma bint Umays who was looking after her. She asked for some water and had a bath. She then put on new clothes and perfumed herself. She then asked Salma to put her bed in the courtyard of the house. With her face looking to the heavens above, she asked for her husband Ali.

He was taken aback when he saw her lying in the middle of the courtyard and asked her what was wrong. She smiled and said: “I have an appointment today with the Messenger of God.”

Ali cried and she tried to console him. She told him to look after their sons al-Hasan and al-Husayn and advised that she should be buried without ceremony. She gazed upwards again, then closed her eyes and surrendered her soul to the Mighty Creator.

She, Fatimah the Resplendent One, was just twenty nine years old.

~ A Mother’s Love ~

So there was this young man about twenty years old (let’s call him Jamal). Jamal was approached by a salesman, Adam, who offered Jamal one hundred thousand dollars (or dinars) for his mother’s heart (whether it is figurative or literal we do not know).

Jamal, with dollar signs in his eyes and greed in his heart, took the offer to be literal and went home right away and with a dagger claimed the life of his mother and tore out her heart and hurriedly started back towards the marketplace to find the salesman. On his way to the marketplace, Jamal tripped on some pebbles and as he fell down he dropped his mother’s heart and it got all dirty with the dust from the ground. After he fell, a soft voice came from within the heart and said: “O my son, are you alright?”

Startled, Jamal realized what he had done and started crying. He cried so much that the tears from his eyes rolled down his cheeks and with those tears the dirt on the heart was wiped clean. Jamal, now desperate, wanted a way out of the major sin he had just committed. He picked up his dagger and pulled it up and was about to take his own life. Suddenly, the same soft voice came out a second time from the heart. This time it stated: “O my son, do not kill me twice.”

This story definitely symbolizes a mother’s love for her child. The Quran and Sunnah show the importance of one’s parents. Quranic verses:

1. “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth”. (46:15)

2. “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’” (17:23-24).

3.. “We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not’” .(29:8).

4..“We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) Goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)” (31:14-15).

The fourth verse listed is something we need to take seriously (including myself). Insha’Allah, we should never get angry or raise our voices with our parents. I saw this cool billboard about moms. It read something like “She doesn’t love because she’s tough. She’s tough because she loves.” I think that statement hits it right home. A few hadith talking about mothers (and fathers) are:

1. A man came to Rasulullah (SAW) and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?Rasulullah (SAW) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ Rasulullah (SAW) said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’Rasulullah (SAW) said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ Rasulullah (SAW) said: Then your father.

(Bukhari, Muslim).

2. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah (SAW) when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends

(Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

3. Abdullah ibn Amr related that Rasulullah (SAW) said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one’s parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness

(Bukhari, Muslim).

4. Rasulullah (SAW) said, “Be at your mother’s feet and there is the Paradise.”

(Ibn Majah)

Insha’Allah, we can all benefit from these verses and hadith so that we can be more beneficial to our parents. Insha’Allah, we should definitely try to keep our parents in all of our du’as whether they are alive or deceased. In closing, just ask yourself when was the last time you told your mother that you loved her (without it being a response to her saying it first to you!).

Islam is from Allah, The Creator and Sustainer of all that exists.

As such, it is for Him Alone to command and direct His creation and He Alone is responsible for what He will accept and what He will not accept.

It is also for Him Alone to decree what is good and what is bad and He must be the One to show the right path in all things.

Everything in the life of the creations of Allah, especially for those who have choices to make (us), must be dictated and clarified by the One who Created everything in the fist place.

We understand from this that Islam must be a complete and total way of living, explaining everything in the life from beginning to end and from birth until death.

Islam is careful to remind us that it is not a religion to be paid mere lip service; rather it is an all-encompassing way of life that must be practiced continuously for it to be Islam.

There are other injunctions and commandments which concern virtually all facets of one's personal, family and civic life. These include such matters as diet, clothing, personal hygiene, interpersonal relations, business ethics, responsibilities towards parents, spouse and children, marriage, divorce and inheritance, civil and criminal law, fighting in defense of Islam, relations with non-Muslims, and so much more.

In conclusion, we are forced to realize that ISLAM is a complete way of life for the human being. Everything is covered in Islam from birth to death to live in the complete submission to the Will of the One Who Created man in the first place.

How to attain Ikhlaas

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By: Shaykhul Islaam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah
Reference: Al Fawaa’id by Ibnul Qayyim: P.221(حفظه الله)
Translator: Nadir Ahmad, Abu Abdul-Waahid

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Ikhlass (sincerity) cannot be combined in the heart together with the love of being praised and the greed for what other people have, except in the way that water and fire are combined.

So if your conscious tells you to seek ikhlaas, then turn to greed firstly, and slaughter it with the knife of despair [1], then turn to the love of being praised and abandon it like how those who adore the life of this world abandon the hereafter. If you are successful in slaughtering greed and in abandoning the love of being praised, then ikhlaas will be easy for you.

And if you ask:

“And what will make slaughtering greed and abandoning the love of being praised easy for me?”

I reply: As for slaughtering greed, then what will facilitate this for you is your knowledge with certainty that there is nothing whatsoever that is desired, except that with Allaah alone are its treasures, none posses them except Him, and the slave is given nothing from them except by Him.

And as for abandoning the love of being praised, then what will facilitate this for you, is your knowledge that no one’s praise benefits and adorns, and no ones dispraise harms and makes one ugly, except the praise and dispraise of Allaah alone. One bedouin said to the messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه و سلم:

“Indeed whoever I praise is adorned, and whoever I dispraise is unadorned.”

So he صلى الله عليه و سلم said:

“That is [for] Allaah ‘az wa jal [alone].”

So abandon the praise of he whose praise does not adorn you and he whose dispraise does not make you any worse. And seek the praise of He whose praise has all the adornment and He whose dispraise has all the ugliness. And it is not possible to achieve this except with patience and surety, and whenever you lose patience and surety, you become like one who wants to travel across the oceans without a boat.”

Allaah the glorified said:

{So be patient (O Muhammad). Verily, the promise of Allaah is true, and don't let those who have no certainty of faith discourage you from conveying Allaah’s message (which you are obliged to convey).} [Surah: 30/60].

And He, The most high, said:

{And We made from amongst them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our ayat.} [Surah: 32/24]

---

[1] Give up hope in worldly belongings.

Ruqyah from the Sunnah


Initially all forms of ruqya were prohibited but later on, he (Peace and Blessing upon Him) allowed people to use only the ruqa that he approved, or that did not contain shirk.

Jabir Bin 'Abdillah (RA) reported that Allah's Messenger (Peace and Blessing upon Him) prohibited ruqa. Then, some people from the tribe of 'Umr Bin Hazam came to him and said, "We have a ruqyah that we used to use for scorpion and snake stings; but you have now prohibited using ruqa." And they showed it to him. He (Peace and Blessing upon Him) said:

‘I do not see anything wrong in it. Anyone among you who can benefit his brother should do so.’ (Muslim)


Conditions for a Permissible Ruqyah


There are some important conditions that must be satisfied in a ruqyah to make it permissible. They were summarized by Ibn Hajar (AR):

"There is a consensus among the 'ulama that ruqa are permissible when they satisfy three conditions:

1 - To be with Allah's words or His names and attributes

2 - To be in Arabic or of an intelligible meaning

3 - And to believe that they do not have effect by themselves but by Allah (swt) " Fath ul Bari 10/240



In what follows, we discuss each of these conditions:

1. Must Be with Allah's Words, Names, or Attributes

As we will see below, all forms of ruqa reported in the Sunnah satisfy this condition. They either consist of specific portions of the Qur’an, such as al-Fatiha or Ayat ul-Kursiy, or contain a praise of Allah ('Azza wa Jalla) and an invocation of His help and protection.



2. Must Be with Clearly Understood Words

This is an important condition that must be satisfied in order to eliminate any magic factors from the ruqyah.



3. Believing That the True Benefit Is from Allah ('Azza wa Jalla)


The cure is from Allah and not from the one performing the ruqya, no matter how pious he seems- if he claims to be able to cure people and you believe him- then you have committed shirk- exactly what the shaytan and the magician want of you.




Additional Guidelines

In what follows, there are additional guidelines that should be taken into consideration what performing a ruqyah.


1. Adhering to What Is Reported in the Sunnah

Ruqyah is a form of supplication. As is the case with other supplications, it is permissible to use any words that fulfill the above conditions. This is approved by Allah's Messenger (Peace and Blessing upon Him) who said:

‘There is nothing wrong with ruqya as long as they do not involve shirk.’ Muslim



Things to Avoid in a Ruqyah

1. Shirk

'Awf Bin Malik al-Ashja'i (RA) narrated that he said to the Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him), "O Allah's Messenger! We used to apply ruqa during Jahiliyyah. What do you think of that?" He (Peace and Blessing upon Him) replied:

‘Present your ruqa to me. There is nothing wrong with them as long as they do not involve shirk.’ Muslim



Ibn Mas’ud's wife Zaynab (RA) narrated that he saw on her neck a string and asked her, "What is this?" She replied, "It is a string on which a ruqyah was made for me." He cut it off her neck and said:

"You, family of Ibn Mas’ud, are in no need for shirk. Truly, I heard Allah's Messenger (Peace and Blessing upon Him) say: ‘Indeed, ruqya (that involves shirk), amulets, and tiwala, are all acts of shirk.'

She said, "Why do you say this? I was having spasms of pain in my eye; so I went to such and such a Jewish man, and whenever he treated it with ruqyah, it soothed it." He replied:

"That is the doing of Satan. He (Satan) pokes it with his hand; and when the ruqyah (shirk) is applied to it, he removes his hand. It would have been sufficient for you to say what Allah's Messenger (Peace and Blessing upon Him) used to say:

‘Athhib il-ba's, rabb an-nas, washfi ant ash-shafi, la shifa illa shifa uk, shifaan la yughadiru saqama.’

Meaning: ‘Remove the affliction, Lord of the people, and cure - You are the one who cures, and there is no cure except from You—a cure that will not leave any sickness.’ Recorded by Abu Dawud; judged hasan by al-Albani (Mishkat ul-Masabih no. 4552).



The Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him) explicitly prohibited all magical ruqya. Jabir reported that the Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him) said:

‘Nashrah* is of the doing of Satan.’ Recorded by Ahmad and Abu Dawud. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 2760).

(*A magical spell done to counter another magical spell.)



2. Seeking It from Magicians or Soothsayers

One may never go to a magician for help, regardless of whether the magician were true or false. False magicians are liars who pretend things to attract people's awe, money, or both.

True magicians rely on jinns and the devil, and apply procedures containing kufr to produce their spells. Thus all of their spells, including ruqya, are prohibited, and any Muslim who seeks their help belies his belief in the Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him).

Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that the Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him) said:

‘Whoever goes to a soothsayer or fortuneteller and believes in what he says has indeed rejected that which has been revealed to Muhammad.’

Recorded by Ahmad and al-Hakim. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 5939).



As indicated in the Qur’an, (the magicians can never be successful) (Taha 20:69), nor (can they benefit anyone) (al-Baqarah 2:102). Because of all of this, and from the rule established earlier that Allah did not make our cure in anything that He prohibited, we clearly conclude that it is not permissible at all to seek a ruqyah from a magician.



3. Using Unintelligible Words or Phrases

As has been indicated earlier, a ruqyah must be in intelligible and well-understandable words. Otherwise, it could contain shirk, magic, or other evils covered by cryptic characters and mysterious words.



4. Applying It in Prohibited or Strange Situations

Some people require that a ruqyah be accompanied with bizarre actions or conditions, such as applying it in a graveyard or bathroom, or applying it to a person who is unclean or covered with najasah. These and other similar requirements, beside conflicting with what has been reported in the Sunnah, demonstrate a devilish tendency that must be totally avoided.

As for writing a ruqyah on a piece of paper and attaching it to the body of the patient, or soaking the paper in water and making him drink that water, or blowing and spitting over a water container while reading it and then making him drink that water, all of this has no basis in the Sunnah (There are some authentic reports indicating that Imam Ahmad (AR) and some other 'ulama of the salaf have allowed some of these actions, but this by no means gives them a stamp of approval without a supportive evidence from the Sunnah.), and should therefore be totally avoided.



5. Using Prohibited Words or Phrases

A ruqyah may not include evil words, such as cursing, offensive descriptions, or profanity. All of this is prohibited, and, as has been indicated earlier, Allah did not make our cure in anything prohibited.

eg. "May the evil eye fall back on the one who did it and his whole family and children" This is a form of transgression because the one who may have done the evil eye is the one guilty of the crime, not his children and family!


6. Relying on the Power of the Ruqyah

Neither the person applying a ruqyah, nor the person to whom it is applied may assume that it has an independent power of cure or protection. They must both put their full trust in Allah, rely fully on Him, and believe that the ruqyah is a means that He created for them.

As Ibn Al-Qayyim indicates (Al Jawab Al Kafi), one should view a ruqyah like one does a sword: it can be of no use without three conditions:

a) It should be strong and sharp.

b) The person using it should be well versed and experienced.

c) There should be no obstacles hindering it from being most effective.






Ruqyah with Allah's Name

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri (RA) reported that Jibril came to the Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him) and said:, "O Muhammad, are you sick?" He replied, ‘Yes.’ He said:

"Bismillahi arqik, min kulli shayin yuthik, min sharri kulli nafsin aw ayni hasid - With Allah's Name I shelter you (give you ruqyah), from all that ails you, from the evil of every soul, or that of the envious eyes. May Allah cure you; with Allah's Name I shelter you." Muslim and others.





Ruqyah with Allah's Book

'Aishah (RA) reported that Allah's Messenger (Peace and Blessing upon Him) came into her house and saw with her a woman who was treating her with ruqyah. He told her:

‘Treat her (only) with Allah's Book.’ Recorded by Ibn Hibban; verified to be authentic by al-Albani in as-Sahihah no. 1931.

In what follows, we present ruqa with specific suras or ayat as is recorded in the Sunnah.

So any verse from the Quran can be recited but certain verses are more effective (eg. Ayat Al Kursi) or have certain virtues (2:102 and other sihr verses) or surah fathiha which can be read to cure evil eye and poison.


Ruqyah with al-Fatiha

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri and Ibn Abbas (RA) reported that a number of the Prophet's (Peace and Blessing upon Him) companions were on a journey. They stopped one night by the dwellings of a bedouin tribe who refused to host them and give them food.

The chief of that tribe was then stung (by a snake or scorpion). His people tried everything possible to treat him, but to no avail. One of them suggested to seek help from the travellers. When they came to them, one of them said, "By Allah, I can perform ruqyah; but you have refused to host us. So I would not perform the ruqyah until you pledge to give us an offering."

They agreed to give them a flock of thirty sheep, and the companion started blowing (with light spit) on the stung man's sting and reading al-Fatiha. He was immediately cured, like one who was tied and then set free. He stood and walked as if nothing happened to him, and they gave them their pledged offering.

Some of the companions said, "Let us divide this flock among us." Others said, "No, you may not take any pay for reading Allah's Book! Let us not divide the goats until we reach the Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him), tell him what happened, and see what he commands us."

When they reached al-Madinah, they came to the Prophet (Peace and Blessing upon Him) and told him what happened. He said (approvingly):

‘How did you know that it (al-Fatiha) is a ruqyah? You have done well! And indeed, the best thing to be paid for is Allah's Book*. So, divide it among you; and allot a share for me.’ Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.


Muhammad Al Jibaly

Sickness: Regulations & Exhortations

The rights of a husband from his wife

Riyad as-Salihin (The Meadows of the Righteous)

by Imam Nawawi

35. Chapter: On the rights of a husband from his wife

Allah Almighty says, "Men have charge of women because Allah has preferred the one above the other and because they spend their wealth on them. Right-acting women are obedient, safeguarding their husband's interests in his absence as Allah has guarded them." (4:34)

281. Abu Hurayra said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'When a man calls his wife to bed and she does not come and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.'"

In a variant they both have, "When a woman spends the night spurning her husband's bed, the angels curse her until morning." [Agreed upon]

In one variant, the Messenger of Allah said, "By the One in whose hand my soul is, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come without the One in the heaven being angry with her until until her husband is pleased with her again."

282. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "It is not lawful for a woman to fast while her husband is present, except with his permission, nor to give someone permission to enter his house without his permission." [Agreed upon. This is the version in al-Bukhari]

283. Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "All of you are shepherds. Each of you is responsible for his flock. An amir is a shepherd. A man is a shepherd in respect of his family. The woman is a shepherd in respect of her husband's house and children. All of you are shepherds and each of you is reponsible for his flock." [Agreed upon]

284. Abu 'Ali Talq ibn 'Ali reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When a man calls his wife to attend to his need, she should come to him, even if she is at the oven." [at-Tirmidhi and an-Nasa'i]

285. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands." [at-Tirmidhi]

286. Umm Salama reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Any woman who dies at a time when her husband is pleased with her will enter the Garden.""

287. Mu'adh ibn Jabal reported is that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "A woman does not injure her husband in this world without his wife among the houris saying, 'Do not injure him, may Allah fight you! He is a guest with you who is about to leave you for us." [at-Tirmidhi]

288. Usama ibn Zayd reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I have not left after me any temptation more harmful to men than women." [Agreed upon]

~ Truthfulness ~

Riyad as-Salihin (The Meadows of the Righteous)

by Imam Nawawi

4. Chapter: On Truthfulness

Allah Almighty says, "O who you believe! Fear Allah and be with the truthful' (W9:129; H9:119)

and the Almighty says, "Truthful men and truthful women," (33:35)

and the Almighty says, "Being true to Allah would be better for them." (W47:20; H47:21)

54. Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Truthfulness leads to piety and piety leads to the Garden. A man should be truthful until he is written down as truthful in the sight of Allah. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire. A person lies to the point that he is written down as a liar in the sight of Allah." [Agreed upon]

55. Abu Muhammad al-Hasan ibn 'Ali ibn Abi Talib said, "I memorised from the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace: 'Abandon anything that gives you doubt for what gives you no doubt. Truthfulness is peace of mind and lying is doubt." [At-Tirmidhi]

56. Abu Sufyan Sakhr ibn Harb said in a long hadith concerning what happened with Heraclius: "Heraclius said, 'What does he order you to do?' I replied, 'He says, "Worship Allah alone and do not associate anything with Him and abandon what our ancestors said." He commands us to pray, to speak the truth, to be chaste, and to maintain ties of kinship.'" [Agreed upon]

57. Abu Thabit (and it is said Abu Sa'id and Abu'l-Walid) Sahl ibn Hunayf, who was at Badr, reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "If someone asks Allah Almighty for martyrdom with true sincerity, Allah will raise him to the level of the martyrs, even if he dies in his bed." [Muslim]

58. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "One of the Prophets, may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon them, went on an expedition and said to his people, 'A man who has contracted a marriage with a woman and wants to consummate it but has not yet done so should not go with me, nor should anyone who has built a house and not yet raised its roof, nor anyone who has bought some sheep or pregnant she-camels and is waiting for them to give birth.' So he went on the expedition and approached the town at the time of the 'Asr prayer, or about that time. He said to the sun, 'You are under command and I am under command. O Allah, hold it back for us!' And it was held back until Allah gave him victory. He gathered the booty and it, i.e. the fire, came to consume it, but it did not consume it. He said, 'Some of you have stolen from the booty. A man from every tribe should come and give allegiance.' One man's hand stuck to his hand and he said, 'The theft is among you. Your tribe should give me allegiance.' The hands of two or three men stuck to his hand, and he said, 'The theft is among you.' So they brought a head made of gold looking like the head of a cow and put it down and the fire came and consumed it. Booty was not lawful for anyone before us. Then Allah made booty lawful for us. Allah saw our weakness and incapacity and so He made it lawful for us." [Agreed upon]

59. Abu Khalid Hakim ibn Hizam reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The seller and the buyer have the option to withdraw as long as they have not yet separated. If they speak the truth and make things clear, they will be blessed in their sale. If they conceal things and lie, the blessing of their transaction will be wiped out." [Agreed upon]

~ The Rules of Backbiting ~

Question:

I want to know what exactly constitutes 'gheebat' or gossiping in Islam... I mean if someone's actions directly affect you and you discuss the problem with others is that gheebat? secondly, can you tell me for instance, if I advise somebody and explain by referring to some one's past conduct, is that gheebat? I would be obliged, because I fear I do discuss people most of the time, one way or the other.

Answered by Imam Abu Hamid Muhammad Al-Ghazali

Answer:

Backbiting

from "Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasideen" (being Ibn Qudamah's abridgement of Ibn al-Jawzi's summary of al-Ghazzali's "Ihya' `Ulum al-Deen")

NOTE: This text is copyrighted.

Permission is granted to include it on web sites, and to make hard copies for the SOLE PURPOSE of da`wah (propagation) or educational efforts. Due acknowledgement should be given. (c) Suheil Laher

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it, [so similarly, avoid backbiting]. And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." Qur'an, [49:12]

"And do not follow that of which you do not have knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - [you] will be asked about all of those." Qur'an, [17:36]

"He does not utter a [single] word, except that there is, with him, [an angel] ready and waiting [to record it]." Qur'an, [50:18]

Imam Nawawi says "It is obligatory for every sane adult to guard his tongue against talking, except when it contains a clear benefit. If talking and remaining silent are of equal benefit, it is sunnah to abstain, for permissible talking might lead to something undesirable or forbidden, as in fact is very often the case, and nothing matches safety."

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah :

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say [something] good, or he should keep silent." [Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah]

Nawawi says, "This hadith is quite explicit that it is imperative to not talk unless the speech is good, which is that wherein there is some benefit. If a person is in doubt as to whether there will be any benefit, then he should remain silent."

On the authority of Sahl ibn Sa`d :

"Whoever guarantees for me what is between his two jaws and what is between his two legs, I guarantee Heaven for him." [Bukhari, Muslim]

On the authority of `Uqbah ibn `Amir : I said, 'O Messenger of Allah! What is salvation?"
He said, "Hold your tongue, let your house contain you, and weep over your sins." [Bukhari, Muslim]

Mu`adh ibn Jabal said, "Are we even going to be held accountable for what we say?!"
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "May your mother be bereaved of you! Is there anything which drags people into the Fire on their faces other than the harvest of their tongues?!" [Tirmidhi (hasan sahih)]

On the authority of Abu Bakrah, from the Farewell Pilgrimage:

"Indeed, your blood, property and honor are sacred to [one another], like the sanctity of this day of yours in this city of yours." [Bukhari, Muslim]

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah :

"All of a Muslim is prohibited to another Muslim : his blood, his honor and his property." [Muslim]

"O assembly of those who have believed with their tongues, but into whose hearts faith has not yet reached! Do not backbite the Muslims, nor seek out their secrets! For, whoever seeks out the faults of his brother, Allah will seek out his secrets. And, whoever has his secrets sought out by Allah, Allah will disgrace him, even [if he hides] in the depths of his house. [Abu Dawud in al-Adab, 4/271, #4880]

"Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery. A man may commit adultery, and drink [wine], and then repent, and Allah will forgive him. But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until his [backbited] companion forgives him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]

Meaning of ghibah

It has been defined precisely by the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) as, "Your mentioning your brother with something about him that he dislikes [being spoken about]."
Someone asked, "How about if my brother contains that [characteristic which I am mentioning]?"
He replied, "If he possesses that which you mention, then you have [indeed] backbited him. And, if he does not contain that which you say, then you have slandered him." [Muslim in al-Birr, 4/2001, #70; Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 2/230,384]

Body.
Lineage.
Character.
Clothing.

Ghibah in the guise of religiousity

"Praise be to Allah who has saved us from such evil."
"We ask Allah for protection."
"That poor fellow! Allah has afflicted him with a great calamity. May Allah forgive him and us."

Listening to Ghibah

Someone who listens to backbiting is a partner to it. He is not absolved of the sin of listening unless he remonstrates verbally, or in his heart if he is afraid. If he is able to start talking about something else, or to change the subject of the conversation, then it is imperative for him to do so.

"And, when they hear vain talk, they turn away from it." [Qur'an, 28:55]

"[Successful are] those who shun vain talk." [Qur'an, al-Mu'minun: 3]

"Whoever is present while a Muslim is humiliated before him, and is able to assist him [and yet does not], Allah will humiliate him before [all of] creation." [Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/487; Suyuti in Al-Jami` As-Saghir, 2/510, #8375]

"Whoever protects a believer from a hypocrite, Allah will send to him an angel to protect him from the Fire of Hell on the Day of Arising. [Abu Dawud in al-Adab, 4/272, #4883]

"Whoever averts [an attack] from the honor of his brother, Allah will avert the fire from his face on the Day of Arising." [Tirmidhi (hasan)]

Causes of ghibah

1. Thirst for revenge. Backbiting one's brother and obtaining gratification from his anger.
2. Peer pressure. Desire to fit in with and be accepted by one's companions.
3. Desire to exalt one's self by degrading another. In the same way, one may become jealous when another is praised, and therefore seek to disparage him.
4. Jest and play. A desire to make others laugh. Some people even make a living out of this.

Cure for ghibah

Realize that it exposes you to the displeasure of Allah, the Exalted. Remind yourself that your good deeds will go to the person whom you are backbiting, and his sins will be borne by you. Ponder over your own faults, and occupy yourself with correcting them. Feel ashamed to discuss the faults of others when you yourself have so many faults. If you are rally free from fault, then occupy yourself with thanking Allah for His favor. Just as you would dislike someone else backbiting you, out yourself in the place of the one whom you are inclined to backbite.

"Indeed, truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Heaven. And, a man [continues to] tell the truth, until he is recorded before Allah as a truthful one. And, indeed, lying leads to evil, and evil leads to Hell. And, a man [continues to] lie until he is recorded before Allah as a liar. [Bukhari, Muslim]

"Insulting a Muslim is impiety, and killing him is [a form of] unbelief." [Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi, Tabarani, Daraqutni.]

Ghibah of the heart

To think the worst of Muslims. You may not think badly of a Muslim unless you have definite knowledge of his having done something evil, and there is no possible excuse or justification for him. You should try to make 70 excuses for your brother, and if you cannot find an excuse for him, look for some flaw in your perception. If someone informs you of something bad about someone else, it is obligatory upon you to investigate the matter. Is there some enmity between the informer and the one he is telling you about? You are obliged to think the best of your Muslim brother/sister. Thwart Satan by making du`a for the person. Do not spy on your brother, under the pretext of trying to find out the truth. If it does turn out that he has done something wrong, then advise him in secret.

Cases in which ghibah is permissible

1. Injustice. One who has suffered injustice is entitled to mention the one who has committed injustice to someone who is capable of restoring his rights to him, such as a legitimate Muslim ruler or judge.
   
2. Seeking help to change an evil, or to reform the wrongdoer. If the intention in telling the ghibah is not to change the wrong, then it is forbidden to relate it.
   
3. Asking for a fatwa. A person may say, 'My father/brother/wife has done such-and-such to me. What can I do about it?

   On the authority of `A'ishah : Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, said to the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), "Abu Sufyan is a miserly man, and he is not giving me what would suffice me and my child, unless I take from him without his knowing." He said, "Take what suffices you and your child according to common usage." [Bukhari, Muslim]

   However, it is more precautionary to avoid mention of names, for example by asking instead, "What is the verdict regarding a person who has done such-and-such?"
   

4. Warning, such as warning a prospective buyer that the merchant is a swindler, or warning a student that his prospective teacher is an innovator or a deviant. Also, revealing the faults of weak narrators and forgers of hadith, and giving someone a candid appraisal of a person whom the former is thinking of marrying.

   On the authority of Fatimah bint Qays : she said, "I came to the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) and told him, "Abu Jahm and Mu`awiyah have [both] proposed to me." He said, "As for Mu`awiyah, he is a poor man with no money, and as for Abu Jahm, his stick never leaves his shoulder." [Bukhari, Muslim, Malik]
   

5. If someone is commonly known by a nickname, although if there is some alternative way to refer to him, it is preferable.
   
6. Someone who sins openly, and has no qualms about his sins being mentioned.
   However, it is not permissible to mention any of his secret sins.

   "There can be no backbiting of one who casts off the mantle of modesty." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` As-Saghir, 2/519, from Bayhaqi.]

Expiation for ghibah

The backbiter has committed two infringements; one upon the limits of Allah, and this must be expiated by repentance and regret. The second is on the rights of his brothers/sisters. If news of the backbiting has reached the person, the backbiter must apologize to him/her, and express regret at having said it.

"Whoever has wronged his brother, in the way of property or honor, let him go to him and repair it, before it is taken [from him on a day] when he has no dirhams or dinars, such thatif he has any good deeds, some of the good deeds will be taken and given to [the wronged one], otherwise [if he has no good deeds], some of the other's evil deeds will be taken and cast upon him." [Bukhari, Al-Mazalim, 5/121, #2449. Ahmad, Al-Musnad, 2/435]

If the person has not learned that he has been backbited, then the backbiter
need not tell him, but he should ask Allah to forgive him.

"The expiation with regard to one who has been backbited is that forgiveness be asked for him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` As-Saghir, 2/390, #6259]

Mujahid said : the expiation for eating the flesh of your brother is that you praise him and pray for good for him, and similar is the case if he has died.

On Backbiting non-Muslims

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Praise be to Allah, Who sent His messenger with the Guidance and the religion of truth, in order that He might make it prevail over all religions, though the pagans may be averse. Blessings and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, who was sent to perfect the noble traits of character.

To proceed : May Allah guide you to felicity! You have asked about the permissibility of a Muslim’s backbiting a non-Muslim. A possible source of confusion here is that the Qur’anic verse prohibiting backbiting is addressed to the believers, and says, in translation,

‘O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed, some suspicions are a sin. And do not spy, nor backbite one another.’ [Qur’an, 49:12]

Hence, one may mistakenly conclude that backbiting non-Muslims is permissible. However, one should beware of relying on first impressions, and especially in matters related to the Sacred Law, one should refrain from pronouncing one’s own, unlearned opinion on a matter based on one’s own impressions. The Qur’anic and hadith texts prohibiting speaking without knowledge, and censuring those who pronounce verdicts (fatwa) rashly, are numerous, and we will not mention them here. The verdict here requires consideration of the evidence and texts in their totality, for only such can yield a full picture of the situation.

Firstly, the fact that the address is made to the Muslims, rather than to mankind in general, is understandable when one takes into consideration that the unbelievers, although also subject to all of Allah’s commands, and technically obligated to follow them, (as evidenced by the clear texts of the Qur’an, and backed by the consensus of Muslim scholars) are first and foremost called upon to believe. This is because rectitude of doctrine is a prerequisite for the acceptability of a good deed, and without belief in Allah and all His Messengers, deeds are rendered worthless, like floating dust or scattered ashes, not earning their doer any reward in the Hereafter. It is only by accepting the message of Allah, and all his Prophets, that one can ‘validate’ one’s good deeds so as to earn reward for them in the Hereafter. This includes those who followed the message of a previous Prophet, and they shall receive a double reward upon embracing the Final Message.

`Those to whom We gave the book before it, they believe in it. And, when it is recited to them, they say, ‘We believe in it. Indeed, it is the truth from our Lord. Indeed, we were, [even] before it, Muslims’. They will be given their reward twofold, because they persevered.’ [Qur’an, 28:52-54]

Furthermore, there are some orders and prohibitions (or all, according to the epistemology of the Ash`aris) whose goodness or baseness can be known only through scriptural communication, such that an unbeliever would not be likely to obey them without first embracing faith.

That the address is made to the believers does not rule out its applicability to unbelievers; i.e. the command, `Do not backbite one another,’ does not, logically, imply a permission to backbite others. For example, Allah says, (translated),

‘O you who believe! Devour not your wealth amongst yourselves by falsehood, except if it be by trade, by mutual consent amongst yourselves.’ [Qur’an, 4:29]

This verse does not give permission to consume the wealth of the Dhimmis (non-Muslim subjects of the Islamic state). It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said,

‘Does any of you, while reclining on his couch, imagine that Allah has prohibited only that which is to be found in this Qur'an? By Allah, I have preached, commanded and prohibited various matters as numerous as that which is found in the Qur'an, or more numerous. Allah has not permitted you to enter the houses of the people of the Book without permission, nor to beat their women, nor to eat their fruits when they give you that [tax] which is imposed on them.’ [Narrated by Abu Dawud]

And it is reported in another narration that he (peace and blessings be upon him and his Household) said: ‘Indeed, whoever wrongs a person of the contract (i.e. a Jew or a Christian), or deprecates him, or imposes upon him [something] beyond his capability, or takes anything from him without his consent, I shall be his adversary on the Day of Arising.’ [Narrated by Abu Dawud; al-Mundhiri said : it contains unknown narrators.]

This latter hadith is explicit regarding the prohibition of deprecating a Dhimmi, but its isnad contains weakness, and so it cannot be used as a proof. However, the evidences to follow establish the prohibition of backbiting, and in their light, the above hadith can serve as supporting evidence.

The human being should realize that all his/her words are witnessed by Allah, and recorded by the angelic scribes.

‘He does not utter a [single] word, except that there is, with him, [an angel] watching and waiting [to record it].’ [Qur’an, 50:18]

Imam al-Nawawi says, ‘It is obligatory for every sane adult to guard his tongue against talking, except when it contains a clear benefit. If talking and remaining silent are of equal benefit, it is sunnah to abstain, for permissible talking might lead to something undesirable or forbidden, as in fact is very often the case, and nothing matches safety.’

Allah does not love the loud utterance of harsh/hurtful words, except by one who has been wronged. And Allah is Seeing, Hearing.’ [Qur’an, 4:148]

The Prophet (may Allah bless him and his Household and grant them peace), has said,
‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say something good, or should remain silent.’ [Narrated by Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah]

Al-Nawawi says, ‘This hadith is quite explicit that it is imperative to not talk unless the speech is good, which is that wherein there is some benefit. If a person is in doubt as to whether there will be any benefit, then he should remain silent.’

And, the Prophet (may Allah bless him and his Household and grant them peace) said,

‘Treat people with good character.’ [Narrated by Tirmidhi, who said it is a good hadith; Nawawi quoted it in his ‘Forty Hadith.’]

The Muslim is not insulting, nor cursing, nor obscene, nor shameless. [Riyad al-Salihin]

From the above Qur’anic and hadith texts, it becomes clear that a Muslim should only speak if there is some benefit in his words, and in particular, it does not become him to engage in harsh or hurtful speech. This forms a basis for not engaging in backbiting, even if it be against a non-Muslim. If we consider the underlying reasons and implications of this, our idea is reinforced. The motive for backbiting is often anger and a thirst for revenge, whereas the believer is supposed to control his anger. Or, it may be intended to degrade the one being backbited and to thereby exalt oneself, which tends to indicate a feeling of arrogance, and arrogance is prohibited by clear scriptural texts. Furthermore, the enmity and other such bad consequences of backbiting are detrimental to society and its smooth functioning. In general, a Muslim is supposed to deal well with people, except if there is some justifying misconduct from the opposite party.

‘Allah does not prohibit you from being kind and equitable to those who have not fought you on account of your religion, nor driven you from your homes. And Allah loves those who are equitable.’ [Qur’an, 60:8]

Al-Haskafi, the Hanafi jurist, says in "al-Durr al-Mukhtar," about the dhimmi, "Backbiting him is prohibited, just like [backbiting a Muslim]." Ibn `Abidin remarks in his marginal annotations "Hashiyat Radd al-Muhtar," And, it has been said : Backbiting a dhimmi is more severe [than backbiting a Muslim]."

All this having been said, it should be pointed out that although backbiting in general is prohibited, there are certain circumstances which make it permissible. At this point, it is useful to distinguish between two types of misdemeanors and sins of unbelievers :

1. deeds which they do openly and shamelessly, because they maintain that they are permissible according to their religion, or because they have little modesty or concern for public opinion. Mentioning such misdeeds of an unbeliever is not considered backbiting, just as in the case of a sinful Muslim who sins in public with impunity.
   
2. evil deeds which they do covertly and in hiding, due to their admitting their evil nature. It is not permissible to backbite them regarding these.

Backbiting a non-Muslim is also permissible in the other cases where backbiting a Muslim is justified, viz. To redress an injustice, to seek help to change an evil, asking for a fatwa, accepted nicknames, and warning people against evil.

We conclude with the following hadith, which mentions the punishment for backbiting people (without distinguishing between believers and unbelievers; it therefore serves as support for the verdict we have mentioned).

Abu Dawud has reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘When I was taken up to heaven (i.e. during the Mi`raj) I passed by people who had nails of copper with which they were scratching their faces and their breasts. I said, ‘Who are these [people], O Gabriel?’ He replied: ‘They are those who consumed the flesh of people [i.e. backbite them] and aspersed their honor.’

And Allah, the Exalted knows best.

Significant Of Using Eyeliner

Kohl is a mixture of soot and other ingredients used predominantly by Middle Eastern, North African, Sub-Saharan African, and South Asian women, and to a lesser extent men, to darken the eyelids and as mascara for the eyelashes. Kohl {from Arabic كحل kuḥl) is also sometimes spelled kol, kehal (in the Arab world), or kohal, and is known as surma or kajal in South Asia. It is the etymon of "alcohol."[1]

Kohl has been worn traditionally as far back as the Bronze Age (3500 B.C. onward). Kohl was originally used as protection against eye ailments. Darkening around the eyelids also provided relief from the glare of the sun. Mothers would also apply kohl to their infants' eyes soon after birth. Some did this to "strengthen the child's eyes,".

Quote:

From Shamail-e-Tirmidhi To apply (surmah, antimony, collyrium) in the eyes is mustabab. One should use kuhl with the intention of ajr (thawaab, reward). It benefits the eye and one receives ajr for following the sunnah also. Imaam Tirmidhi mentions five ahaadith in this chapter. (48) Hadith Number 1 Ibn 'Abbaas Radiyallahu 'Anhu says: "Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam said: 'Use kuhl made of ithmid on the eye; it brightens the eyesight, and strengthens and increases the growth of the eye lashes'. (Sayyidina Ibn'Abbaas Radiyallahu'Anhu also used to say) 'Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallarn had a small container for keeping kuhl, from which he applied kuhl in each eye three times every night"'. Commentary Ithmid is a special type of kuhl which is reddish black in colour. It is obtained in the Eastern countries. Some of the learned say it is the Isfahaani kuhl, and other say it is the Totiya. Some 'ulama say, it means those who have good eyesight and it should be used by those with whose eyesight it agrees, otherwise a sick person's eyes will pain more by its use. It is more beneficial to apply kuhl at the time of sleeping as it will remain longer in the eyes, and will penetrate more into the pores. There are different narrations on the number of times it should be applied in each eye. In a few it is stated that it should be applied three times in each eye, as mentioned above. In other narrations it is stated that it should be put three times in the right eye and two times in the left eye. It is supposed that the variations are because of the different times of the narrations. At a certain time, Sayyidina Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi Wasallam applied it in one manner and at another time in the other manner. Haafiz Ibn Hajar, Mulla 'Ali Qaari and other 'ulama have preferred the first method (as given in the hadith under discussion). the first method has been narrated many times from Sayyidina Rasulullah Sallallahu' Alayhi Wasallam, as will be seen in the narration that follow. back (49) Hadith Number 2 Ibn 'Abbaas Radiyallahu 'Anhu reports: "Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam applied kuhl of ithmid three times in each eye before sleeping'. In a narration also from Ibn 'Abbaas Radiyallahu 'Anhu, it is reported: "Rasuluilah Sallallahu'Alayhi Wasallam had a small container for keeping kuhl, from which he applied in each eye kuhl three times before sleeping'. (50) Hadith Number 3 Jaabir bin 'Abdullah Radiyallahu 'Anhu says: "Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam said: 'Use the kuhl made from ithmid for the eyes. It brightens the vision and strengthens the growth of the eye lashes'. (51) Hadith Number 4 Ibn 'Abbaas Radiyallahu 'Anhu says: "Rasulullah Sallallah 'Alayhi Wasallam has said: 'The best from among all the kuhl used by you is the one made from ithmid. It brightens the eyesight and strengthens the growth of the eye lashes"'. Commentary One of the narrators in the chain of this hadith is Bishr bin Mufaddal RA. The 'ulama wrote that he performed four hundred rak'ahs nafl daily, and it was his permanent practice to fast every alternate day. (52) Hadith Number 5 'Abdullah bin 'Umar Radiyallahu 'Anhu related the same hadith from Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallarn that: "Verily use the kuhl made from ithmid. It brightens the vision and strengthens the growth of the eye lashes".

From what i read in Fatawah:
It is permitted for men with eye problems, and for women if they arent going out, and for underaged children (under 10) in general.

A touching story!He reverted to Islam and then died!

He reverted to Islam then died !

A man used to live in Saudi Arabia originally from India was a Siekh, and a Muslim Shaik ( Muhammad Farrag ) used to invite him a lot to Islam. He neither refused nor accepted the idea because of his family.

Then one day Allah opened his heart to Islam, he came to the shaik in his mosque to embrace Islam. The shaik was busy

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with his students and some Du’ah (Muslim missioners who invite people to the worship of Allah).

Sheik Muhammad did not know that the man wanted to enter in Islam so he did not give him any attention and he left the mosque with his students.

The man, who wanted to enter in Allah’s religion, remained standing at the door of the mosque watching the shaik and his students riding their cars and moving away. On that sight he could not prevent himself from crying and burst into tears. While he was standing weeping at the door of the mosque, a young man who lived in the same quarter passed by him.

He asked him about the reason of his crying and the Indian replied that he wanted to be a Muslim.

The young man (May Allah rewards him the best) took him to his house. He made him perform abulution (wudoo) and say the two testimonies (No god but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger). The Indian left after he said the testimony and it was about the dusk prayer (Al-Maghrib). Then he went to his room and suffered from a severe stomachache.

The young man came to shaik Muhammad and told him the whole story. The shaik repented what he had done though he was ignorant of the matter. He went to the Indian’s room, but his colleagues told him that he had died last night and he was then in the fridge of the Central Hospital. The shaik went with some Du’ah to the hospital to receive his corpse, but the hospital refused stating that the embassy had sent to his family in India and they would receive his corpse to be burnt there. The sheik objected saying that the man became a Muslim and there were witnesses on that, but still the hospital refused.

Sheik Muhammad went to Shaik Abd Al-Aziz Bin Baz (May Allah rest his soul and have mercy upon him) and told him the whole story. Shaik Abd Al-Aziz said that the Indian should not be given to his family as he became their brother in Islam; they should pray on his corpse and bury him there. He should not be given to the unbelievers. Sheik Abd Al-Aziz sent a copy of the subject to the emirate and requested an order to give the corpse to sheik Muhammad Farrag.

The emirate ordered the hospital to give the corpse to Shaik Muhammad and he received it. Some Du’ah washed the man and put him in his coffin. The funeral prayer coincided with Al-Goma’ah (the congregational prayer). Shaik Muhammad gave a wonderful oration on the one who embraced Islam then died without making one prostration to Allah. He stated in the first oration some similar examples from history, then he stated in the second one the story of the Indian man upon whom they would pray after Al-Goma’ah. The Muslims pray upon him, then they carried him upon their shoulders and they all went to the graveyard led by a lot of Du’ah and scholars.
It was a moving scene, May Allah accept (his deeds) and have mercy upon him.

On the Authority of ‘Abdullah bin Mus’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), the true and truly inspired said, “(The matter of Creation of) a human being is put together in the womb of the mother for forty days, and then he becomes a clot of thick blood for a similar period, and then a piece of flesh for similar period. Then Allah sends an angel who is ordered to write four things. He is ordered to write his (i.e. the new creature’s) deeds, his livelihood, his (date of) death, and whether he will be blessed or wretched (in religion). Then the soul is breathed into him. By Allah who is no God but Him, a man amongst you may do (good) deeds till there is only a cubit between him and paradise and then what has been written for him decides his behavior and he starts doing (evil) deeds characteristic of the people of the (Hell) Fire so he enters it. And similarly a man amongst you may do (evil) deeds till there is only a cubit between him and the (Hell) Fire, and then what has been written for him decides his behavior, and he starts doing deeds characteristic of the people of Paradise so he enters it.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.

Bring your Friends Closer to Allah

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By Dar-ul-Muslimeen

Why should you, a young Muslim, be helping to bring your friends closer to Allah? After all, you've got your own struggles to deal with: trying to explain to hostile teachers why you pray, Hijab discrimination, standing up in class when the professor attacks Islam, dealing with parents who think you've gone nuts because you're growing a beard, or all the other difficulties faced by a number of practicing Muslim youth?

Islam was never meant to be an individualistic faith, reserved for the "chosen few". Muslims have a duty to spread the Deen; and practicing Muslim youth, whether beginners, activists or leaders, have a crucial role to play.

"Allah has put them in a position that perhaps no one else is in," notes Sheema Khan, former Muslim Youth of North America (MYNA) advisor for eastern Canada. "They have the means to communicate with their peers, they have an understanding of what they're going through plus they have the guidance of Islam."

Who is your childhood friend going to listen to? Who is your childhood friend, who would rather spend Fridays at McDonalds's than the Masjid, or your classmate who is Muslim in name and only knows that "Muslims don't eat pork" going to listen to: the nice Imam of the Masjid who would freak out if he saw the way they were dressed and talked or you who may have grown up with them, joked with them, or see them everyday in school?

The answer is obvious: You.

Don't panic. Here are some tips and advice which can help. These are advises from other Muslims, many of whom have been there and done that:

Tip # 1 : Make Your Intention Sincere

All work we do should ideally be for the sake of Allah. That includes the task of bringing someone closer to Allah. That of course means this should not be connected to arrogance, thinking you're the teacher and everyone else should be lucky you've embarked on a crusade to save them. Guidance is from Allah. Make Dua and make sincere efforts and remember Allah.

Tip # 2 : Practice What You Preach

Not practicing what you preach is wrong and you will lose the confidence of anyone, young or old, once they figure you out. Don't do it.

Tip # 3 : Use The Qur'an, Seerah of the Prophet and Ahlulbait (peace be upon them)

As TABLIGH Guides Read and understand those chapters of the Qur'an which talk about how the Prophets presented the message of Islam to their people.

Read the Seerah to see especially how the Prophet Muhammad and Ahlulbait peace and blessings be upon them) brought Islam to so many different people, including young people.

As well, talk to Tabligh workers, and check out manuals they may have
written, like Yahiya Emerick's How to Tell Others About Islam.

Tip # 4 : Talk To People As If You Really Don't Know Them

Don't assume you know someone just by looking at them. You don't know that the Muslim girl in your homeroom who walks through the school's hallways as if they were fashion show catwalks, is not someone you can talk to about Allah because she looks like a snob. Or that the Muslim guy who you've never seen at Juma at your university is a "bad Muslim". Maybe he was never really taught Islam and has no idea what importance Friday prayers have in Islam, especially for Muslim men.

Tip # 5 : Smile

Did you know the Prophet was big on smiling? But many "practicing" Muslims seem to have "their faces on upside down" as one speaker once said-frowning and serious. Smiling, being polite and kind are all part of the manners of the Prophet, which we must exercise in our daily lives. If we want to approach others with Islam, we have to make ourselves approachable. Smiling is key to this.

But note that being approachable does not mean being flirtations with the other gender. There are Islamic rules for how men and women should deal with each other which have to be respected. Tabligh is no excuse to have long and private conversations and meetings with the other sex, for example. Set up a system where someone expressing an interest in Islam is referred to someone of the same sex.

Tip # 6 : Take The Initiative & Hang Out With Them

Take the first step and invite someone you may have spoken to a couple of times to sit at lunch together, to check out a hockey game or invite them over for Iftaar in Ramadan.

Also, share difficulties, sorrows and frustrations. Help with homework, be a shoulder to cry on when depression hits, or just plain listen when your friend is upset, discuss common problems and KEEP THEIR SECRETS. There are few things as annoying as a snitch and backstabber. But an important note: if the problem is of a serious nature, (i.e. your friend is thinking of committing suicide or is taking drugs), notify and consult an adult immediately.

Tip # 7 : Show Them Islam Is Relevant Today, Right Here, Right Now

Young people may think Islam is too "old fashioned" and not in tune with the modern age.

Prove this wrong. Show how Islam is really about relating to Allah, which any human being can do, anywhere, anytime. Allah is always closer to you than your jugular vein and He hears and knows everything. Encourage friends to ask Allah's help during tests, exams, and in dealing with problems at home with parents and siblings. Also point out how Islam relates to teenagers: Islam gives you focus and an understanding of who you are and where you are going, which most of "teen culture" does not.

Tip # 8 : Get Them Involved In Volunteer Work With You

If you are already involved in the community, get your friend to help out. Ask them to make a flyer for one of your youth group's events or brainstorm for ideas about activities to hold this school year. This involvement makes them feel part of the Muslim community and deepens your friendship, since you are now working together on something beneficial for both of you. Make sure you thank them for their contribution.

Tip # 9 : Ask Them 4 Fundamental Questions

As your friendship develops, you will notice the topics you discuss may become more serious. You may be discussing, for instance, future goals and plans. Khan recommends four questions to ask that can steer the topic to Allah and Islam:

a. Where am I going in life and what would make me really happy deep down inside?
b. What do I believe?
c. Who should I be grateful to?
d. Did I get to where I am today without the help of anyone?

Tip # 10 : Emphasize Praying 5 Times A Day Before Any Other Aspect Of Islam

A person's main connection with Allah, on a daily basis, is through the prayer five times a day. Don't emphasize any other aspect of Islam until your friend starts making a real effort to pray five times a day. Emphasize the direct connection one has with Allah in prayer. If they are facing a problem, tell them to pray, and to ask Allah for help in Salah and outside this time. When possible, make it a point to pray together during your "hang out time". If your friend begins to pray, that is the first step to other aspects of Islam like giving up swearing, treating parents with respect or dressing Islamically.

Tip # 11 : Help Instill Confidence In Adults

Adults, like Bart Simpson's dad Homer, are considered bumbling idiots in the eyes of "teen culture". Your job as a young Muslim is to help turn the tables on this false and un-Islamic belief. All you have to do is this: when a Muslim adult does something good (i.e. saving someone's life, donating money to a worthy cause, the Imam gives a good speech, taking good care of his/her family) bring it up in the course of your conversations with your friend and praise the adult in question. Doing this regularly may not only change your friend's perspective, but could lead to them seeing their own parents in a more respectful way.

Tip # 12 : Support Them Even When They Become More Practicing

Remember, just because a person starts practicing Islam more regularly, this does not mean everything will be okay from this point onwards. There will still be hard times, difficulties. There may be times when your friend may have doubts about his or her newfound practice of Islam. Be there to reassure them.